LMFAO

A message I received this afternoon:

"Well first of all Ms. Redhead, I love that you love the Packers!! Damn Refs!!!! I'm from Wisconsin, just recently moved to Chandler. Keep an open mind if/when you read About me. You'll most likely laugh, then say to yourself... "WTF did I just read?" Either way, I hope you're enjoying your Sunday. Let's talk later about stuff and things"

So naturally, I had to at least go to his profile and check it out since he made me laugh.  Sadly, he's only 5'9", but his blond hair and blue eyes were an easy distraction from that.  So was his profession that was listed simply as "hitman."  Damn, one of those could come in handy!  

 Normally I wouldn't post an entire profile, but this guy has mad skills when it comes to humor! If he doesn't make you laugh, you need help!

About Me

I now work with special interest groups, mostly midgets. I've found them to be light hearted and full of spirit. That, and they have excellent mechanical skills. On the flipside, I enjoy underwater sports, such as snorkeling, pastry decorating, and clogging. If I'm not wearing a pair of rollerskates, I might as well be naked. Oh, and I like to make cookies.

I love writing non-fiction stories. My favorite pair of shorts are Denim. I dabble with the Jazz Flute. I read short stories to the elderly. I have worn both a wig and suspenders at the same time. I also write fiction stories.

I'm originally from Wisconsin. My father is married to my mother. My eyes have astigmatism. My last name will get YOU into trouble if you ever Google Image it at work.

*** P.S. IF YOU ARE JUST LOOKING FOR A ONE NIGHT STAND, Well ... You know what ... I'll keep an open mind, but you better respect me at the end of the night!!

First Date

Formal dinners are slightly overrated! So, I would throw in a small treasure hunt, eventually leading towards a secluded, moonlit terrace. We would start off with a delicate platter of assorted cheeses and crackers. We will share funny stories about how different we both are, but realize that we are similar in many ways. Neither you, nor I will be able to believe this night is even happening!! We will laugh, and I will feed you crackers in the moonlight, only to watch them crumble onto your silk-woven dress. Butterflies will depart, and a blossoming relationship will begin. See you soon ... 

Now all this guy needs in a nickname....for some reason I just want to call him Hitman....